Sociopath Article Comments: Crazymakers and Insidiously Suppressive People

Saturday

People Who Drive You Crazy

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WHEN YOU SAY THE WORD "sociopath" most people think of serial killers. But although many serial killers are sociopaths, there are far more sociopaths leading ordinary lives. Chances are you know a sociopath. I say "ordinary lives," but what they do is far from ordinary. Sociopaths are people without a conscience. They don't have the normal empathy the rest of us take for granted. They don't feel affection. They don't care about others. But most of them are good observers, and they have learned how to mimic feelings of affection and empathy remarkably well.

Most people with a conscience find it very difficult to even imagine what it would be like to be without one. Combine this with a sociopath's efforts to blend in, and the result is that most sociopaths go undetected.

Because they go undetected, they wreak havoc on their family, on people they work with, and on anyone who tries to be their friend. A sociopath deceives, takes what he (or she) wants, and hurts people without any remorse. Sociopaths don't feel guilty. They don't feel sorry for what they've done. They go through life taking what they want and giving nothing back. They manipulate and deceive and convincingly lie without the slightest second thought. They leave a path of confusion and upset in their wake.

Who are these people? Why are they the way they are? Find out by reading the article, Common Everyday Sociopaths.

I'm disallowing comments on this post because I want to encourage all comments to go to the main comments page. Please leave a comment, question, advice, answers, or whatever here: The Sociopath Comments page. Lots of people have already subscribed to the comments on that post. It is functioning like a support group, and I'd like to keep the conversation in one place.

How To Tell a Sociopath From Others

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THE BIGGEST QUESTION is: How can you tell whether someone is a sociopath or not? It is a difficult question and even experts on the subject can be fooled. If you suspect that someone close to you is a sociopath, I suggest you read both of the books I mention in the sidebar and think hard about it. Compare that person to the other people in your life. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you often feel used by the person?

2. Have you often felt that he (or she) doesn't care about you?

3. Does he lie and deceive you?

4. Does he tend to make contradictory statements?

5. Does he tend to take from you and not give back much?

6. Does he often appeal to pity? Does he seem to try to make you feel sorry for him?

7. Does he try to make you feel guilty?

8. Do you sometimes feel he is taking advantage of your good nature?

9. Does he seem easily bored and need constant stimulation?

10. Does he use a lot of flattery? Does he interact with you in a way that makes you feel flattered even if he says nothing overtly complimentary?

11. Does he make you feel worried? Does he do it obviously or more cleverly and sneakily?

12. Does he give you the impression you owe him?

13. Does he chronically fail to take responsibility for harming others? Does he blame everyone and everything but himself?

And does he do these things far more than the other people in your life? If you answered "yes" to many of these, you may be dealing with a sociopath. For sure you're dealing with someone who isn't good for you, whatever you want to call him.

I like Martha Stout's way of detecting sociopaths: "If ... you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to one hundred percent that you are dealing with a sociopath."

Once you have identified someone as a sociopath, one natural question you might wonder is, "What do sociopaths want?" Find out by reading the article, Common Everyday Sociopaths.

I'm disallowing comments on this post because I want to encourage all comments to go to the main comments page. Please leave a comment, question, advice, answers, or whatever here: The Sociopath Comments page. Lots of people have already subscribed to the comments on that post. It is functioning like a support group, and I'd like to keep the conversation in one place.

Sociopathic Misdirection

THE FOLLOWING is a quote from the book, Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry. It seems appropriate for dealing with common everyday sociopaths:

Hypnotists invite people to focus attention on them, not on what they're doing. Misdirection is the number one secret of hypnosis, whether it's practiced on a nightclub stage or in your office.

Hypnotic communication is purposely distracting and confusing. You're expected to give up trying to understand, turn off your critical thinking, and just go along.

Criticial thinking is the most important tool you have for protecting yourself from Emotional Vampires. If you feel confused, don't do anything until you've figured out what's going on.

That is an excellent rule of thumb when dealing with someone you suspect is a sociopath: When you feel confused, stop right there until you've figured out what's happening.

I'm disallowing comments on this post because I want to encourage all comments to go to the main comments page. Please leave a comment, question, advice, answers, or whatever here: The Sociopath Comments page. Lots of people have already subscribed to the comments on that post. It is functioning like a support group, and I'd like to keep the conversation in one place.

Featured Comment

"I have been married for twenty years to a man who lies, shows no emotion, had no interest in his children etc. I knew something was very wrong with him but could not put my finger on it, or knew there was a name for it. I found out he has been having sex with prostitutes and a lot of them for most if not all of our marriage. He is a Sociopath. He feels nothing for no one, is selfish, and could care less who he hurts.

"If you meet a man and he gives you clues that he might be a sociopath, run. Run like you have never run before; run like the wind and don't look back."

- April 9, 2011 2:52 AM

Help For People Who Have Survived a Sociopath:

A psychotherapist who works with people surviving sociopaths has groups and individual sessions available most of the time. If her schedule is full, she will put you on a waiting list.

She was once married to a sociopath and, like so many others, had no idea until the bottom fell out of her life! She is now dedicated to supporting others who are going through this horrific experience. Email me if you have any questions for her. She would be happy to discuss anything regarding her practice or her experience.

She charges a fee, of course, but your insurance may cover it.

Interview with Martha Stout

" . . . understanding this problem [sociopathy] creates an entire paradigm shift in the way we view human nature." - Dr. Martha Stout

On LivingHero.com is an interview with Dr. Martha Stout, clinical psychologist and bestselling, award-winning author on the subject of sociopathy.

For twenty-six years, she served as a Psychology Instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and also taught at the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology, Wellesley College, The New School for Social Research, and the National Institute of Mental Health. Dr. Stout has worked at Massachusetts General Hospital and McLean Psychiatric Hospital.

She is author of The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us, a National Bestseller and winner of a Books for a Better Life Award.

You may download the mp3 file for free, which will play in iTunes, RealPlayer, Windows Media Player and other media players or you may listen to it right here by clicking on the purple media player below. (The interview is about 30 minutes long.)

Download the Martha Stout interview by right clicking on this link and saving it, or simply click on the link and listen online.

You can contact Martha Stout here:

Dr. Martha Stout
82 Marlborough Street
Boston, MA 02116 USA

Save the World

Martha Stout said if more people knew about sociopaths there would be less war in the world. I think she's right. Consider these facts:

1. According to the famous Milgram experiments, 65 percent of people will follow the orders of an authority.

2. Sociopaths want to win. They seek control. They are excellent manipulators. They don't care who gets hurt. They don't care who lives or dies.

3. They sometimes make it to positions of power. And they cause wars.

If more people knew the characteristics of a sociopath, more people would identify them for what they are before they gain too much authority and power. A sociopath would then be less likely to ever gain significantly powerful positions.

Result: Fewer wars.

There would be less horror in the world.

The truth is, even though it is a common belief that "man is a violent species," we are not. But when a sociopath gains a position of supreme authority and they start wars, 65 percent will obey authority, and most of the rest will be fooled and manipulated into believing in supporting the cause. The result is war. And many of those who fight in them feel terrible about the whole thing. They don't want to kill. They feel they have to.

The reason sociopaths are able to get away with as much as they do is because most people are so ignorant about the topic.

Now listen: You are in a unique position to save the world. Not very many people know about such a thing as "common, everyday sociopaths." They don't know their characteristics. They don't know how to spot them.

But you do.

Share your knowledge. Share it far and wide and in every way you can. And urge everyone you know to help you spread the knowledge. This could change the course of history. It could go a long way toward real peace on earth.

Scientific American Mind

In the September/October 2010 issue of Scientific American Mind is an article entitled, Inside the Mind of a Psychopath. Among other things, the reseachers wrote, "Aided by EEGs and brain scans, scientists have discovered that psychopaths possess significant impairments that affect their ability to feel emotions, read other people's cues and learn from their mistakes.

These deficiencies my be apparent in children who are as young as five years old.

When you tally trials, prison stays and inflicted damage, psychopaths cost us $250 billion to $400 billion a year.

The reseachers wrote:

Charming as they may seem, psychopaths can also be tone-deaf because they lack access to their own feelings and those of others. Imagine what it would be like never to be depressed or anxious, never to have regrets or low self-esteem but also never to care deeply for anyone or anything. Psychopaths' emotions are shallow: they feel irritated when they don't get their way and turn to risky behaviors for the flimsiest of reasons. Bereft of loyalties and passions, they wander through life, often straying into criminality on a whim — forgeries, thefts, assaults, even murders may be committed out of some trivial impulse. As for complex emotions such as devotion, guilt, or joy, theirs remains a textbook understanding — it has been said that they "know the words but not the music."

Dozens of studies reveal that psychopaths experience the world differently from other people. They have trouble making appropriate moral value judgments and putting the brakes on their impulses. They are also hampered in how they respond to emotions, language and distractions — a disconnect that is sometimes seen as early as age five.

Psychopaths are notable for their fearlessness: when confronted with images such as a looming attacker or a weapon aimed their way, they literally don't blink.

Chances are, you have met a psychopath. People with the disorder make up 0.5 to 1 percent of the general population. When you discount children, women (for reasons that remain a puzzle, few women are afflicted), and those who are already locked up, that translates to approximately 250,000 psychopaths living freely in the U.S.

Some researchers have estimated that as many as 500,000 psychopaths inhabit the U.S. prison system, and there may be another 250,000 more living freely — perhaps not committing serious crimes but still taking advantage of those around them.

Whatever the reasons, many psychiatrists are left with the false impression that psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder are the same. They are not. Antisocial personality disorder is a helpful diagnosis when the question is whether a person is likely to behave badly, but it does nothing to discriminate among criminals. Only one in five people with antisocial personality disorder is a psychopath.

The above was written by Kent A. Kiehl, a neuroscientist at the University of New Mexico, and Joshua W. Buckholtz, a PhD candidate in neuroscience at Vanderbilt University.

Contact them here:

Kent A. Kiehl
kkiehl@unm.edu

Joshua W. Buckholtz
joshua.buckholtz@vanderbilt.edu

+		What is a Psychopath?
		This link goes to an answer from a psychopath research organization. And the link below goes to a discussion forum by the same organization. Discussion Forum
+		Topics include: Psychopath in your life
		Parents - Children
+		Psychopath in the Family
		Parents - Siblings

Sociopath Article Comments

Saturday

People Who Drive You Crazy

How To Tell a Sociopath From Others

Sociopathic Misdirection

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Recommended Books:

Help For People Who Have Survived a Sociopath:

Support Groups:

Order of Protection Survivor:

Domestic Abuse Help:

Interview with Martha Stout

Psychopathy Awareness

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Save the World

WikiHow on Sociopathy

Scientific American Mind

A Clarification on a Common Belief

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