You've Got To Get Tough

I thought this comment by "Zem" was a good one. Worth reading:

Its taken time (three years), but I'm just about recovered from the effects of my relationship with a female socio. It's strange in a way, because I gone full circle, and now feel nothing but deep deep pity for these people. They are just empty vessels living out their days at other peoples expense.

A very close female friend of mine, who I care for dearly has been in a relationship with someone I believe to be a socio. All the patterns are there, control, manipulation, pity plays, gas lighting, charm, flattery, serial lying (swearing on his children's lives when lying), stealing, emotional blackmail using his children. This man is a parasite, but against my best efforts, she still keeps on giving him the benefit of doubt. This is what they rely on.

He has made her break contact from all her friends, change her dress sense, stop listening to her favourite music, stolen her jewelery from previous relationships. Attempted to get her to go dogging. He is a snake. He even persuaded her to have two tattoo's with his name on, but at the same time eluded to have the same done. He's been married three times, and his last wife did the sensible thing and ran away.

I've gotten her to finally eject him from her life, but he continues, its incessant, non stop.. All he wants to do is win. The only way she has managed to get this far, is to STOP CONTACT with him. They look for chinks in your make up to prise you open. They pretend to listen to what you say, but its all a ploy to get you to the subject matter they want to discuss.

She keeps telling me that she can't be cruel to him and has to listen and/or talk to him. I keep reminding her that its all lies, and he'll say anything to win her back.

If you want to get away, you've got to get tough, very tough.

1. Be indifferent to them and their 'supposed' circumstances, make them believe you don't care anymore.

2. Do not react. They want you to be emotional, so they can prise you open for more manipulation. Be as dead pan as you can.

3. Be unpredictable, strange, do not conform to any of the patterns they like. This really puts them off.

4. If you do have to communicate with them, limit it to emails and text. If you do speak to them, and they start their pity plays, tell them you're not doing it and hang up.

Good luck and best wishes to all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would assume ignoring them and acting like you got better things to do should piss them off, you'd think?