"I have known a vast quantity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face. Don't trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare honesty out of countenance any day of the week, if there is anything to be got by it."- Charles Dickens
Sunday
If They Look You In The Eye, Can You Trust Them?
What You Can Do About Sociopaths
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Martha Stout said if more people knew about sociopaths there would be less war in the world. I think she's right. Consider these facts:
1. According to the famous Milgram experiments, 65 percent of people will follow the orders of an authority.
2. Sociopaths want to win. They seek control. They are excellent manipulators. They don't care who gets hurt. They don't care who lives or dies.
3. They sometimes make it to positions of power. And they cause wars.
If more people knew the characteristics of a sociopath, more people would identify them for what they are before they gain too much authority and power. A sociopath would then be less likely to ever gain significantly powerful positions.
Result: Fewer wars.
There would be less horror in the world.
The truth is, even though it is a common belief that "man is a violent species," we are not. But when a sociopath gains a position of supreme authority and they start wars, 65 percent will obey authority, and most of the rest will be fooled and manipulated into believing in supporting the cause. The result is war. And many of those who fight in them feel terrible about the whole thing. They don't want to kill. They feel they have to.
The reason sociopaths are able to get away with as much as they do is because most people are so ignorant about the topic.
Now listen: You are in a unique position to save the world. Not very many people know about such a thing as "common, everyday sociopaths." They don't know their characteristics. They don't know how to spot them.
But you do.
Share your knowledge. Share it far and wide and in every way you can. And urge everyone you know to help you spread the knowledge. This could change the course of history. It could go a long way toward real peace on earth.
And beyond that, imagine a massive movement of public education about the existence of sociopaths. How much misery and suffering could be prevented? Each of us can start now to educate the people in our lives, and thus immunize them against sociopathic manipulations.
-
Martha Stout said if more people knew about sociopaths there would be less war in the world. I think she's right. Consider these facts:
1. According to the famous Milgram experiments, 65 percent of people will follow the orders of an authority.
2. Sociopaths want to win. They seek control. They are excellent manipulators. They don't care who gets hurt. They don't care who lives or dies.
3. They sometimes make it to positions of power. And they cause wars.
If more people knew the characteristics of a sociopath, more people would identify them for what they are before they gain too much authority and power. A sociopath would then be less likely to ever gain significantly powerful positions.
Result: Fewer wars.
There would be less horror in the world.
The truth is, even though it is a common belief that "man is a violent species," we are not. But when a sociopath gains a position of supreme authority and they start wars, 65 percent will obey authority, and most of the rest will be fooled and manipulated into believing in supporting the cause. The result is war. And many of those who fight in them feel terrible about the whole thing. They don't want to kill. They feel they have to.
The reason sociopaths are able to get away with as much as they do is because most people are so ignorant about the topic.
Now listen: You are in a unique position to save the world. Not very many people know about such a thing as "common, everyday sociopaths." They don't know their characteristics. They don't know how to spot them.
But you do.
Share your knowledge. Share it far and wide and in every way you can. And urge everyone you know to help you spread the knowledge. This could change the course of history. It could go a long way toward real peace on earth.
And beyond that, imagine a massive movement of public education about the existence of sociopaths. How much misery and suffering could be prevented? Each of us can start now to educate the people in our lives, and thus immunize them against sociopathic manipulations.
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Tuesday
You've Got To Get Tough
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I thought this comment by "Zem" was a good one. Worth reading:
Its taken time (three years), but I'm just about recovered from the effects of my relationship with a female socio. It's strange in a way, because I gone full circle, and now feel nothing but deep deep pity for these people. They are just empty vessels living out their days at other peoples expense.
A very close female friend of mine, who I care for dearly has been in a relationship with someone I believe to be a socio. All the patterns are there, control, manipulation, pity plays, gas lighting, charm, flattery, serial lying (swearing on his children's lives when lying), stealing, emotional blackmail using his children. This man is a parasite, but against my best efforts, she still keeps on giving him the benefit of doubt. This is what they rely on.
He has made her break contact from all her friends, change her dress sense, stop listening to her favourite music, stolen her jewelery from previous relationships. Attempted to get her to go dogging. He is a snake. He even persuaded her to have two tattoo's with his name on, but at the same time eluded to have the same done. He's been married three times, and his last wife did the sensible thing and ran away.
I've gotten her to finally eject him from her life, but he continues, its incessant, non stop.. All he wants to do is win. The only way she has managed to get this far, is to STOP CONTACT with him. They look for chinks in your make up to prise you open. They pretend to listen to what you say, but its all a ploy to get you to the subject matter they want to discuss.
She keeps telling me that she can't be cruel to him and has to listen and/or talk to him. I keep reminding her that its all lies, and he'll say anything to win her back.
If you want to get away, you've got to get tough, very tough.
1. Be indifferent to them and their 'supposed' circumstances, make them believe you don't care anymore.
2. Do not react. They want you to be emotional, so they can prise you open for more manipulation. Be as dead pan as you can.
3. Be unpredictable, strange, do not conform to any of the patterns they like. This really puts them off.
4. If you do have to communicate with them, limit it to emails and text. If you do speak to them, and they start their pity plays, tell them you're not doing it and hang up.
Good luck and best wishes to all.
-
I thought this comment by "Zem" was a good one. Worth reading:
Its taken time (three years), but I'm just about recovered from the effects of my relationship with a female socio. It's strange in a way, because I gone full circle, and now feel nothing but deep deep pity for these people. They are just empty vessels living out their days at other peoples expense.
A very close female friend of mine, who I care for dearly has been in a relationship with someone I believe to be a socio. All the patterns are there, control, manipulation, pity plays, gas lighting, charm, flattery, serial lying (swearing on his children's lives when lying), stealing, emotional blackmail using his children. This man is a parasite, but against my best efforts, she still keeps on giving him the benefit of doubt. This is what they rely on.
He has made her break contact from all her friends, change her dress sense, stop listening to her favourite music, stolen her jewelery from previous relationships. Attempted to get her to go dogging. He is a snake. He even persuaded her to have two tattoo's with his name on, but at the same time eluded to have the same done. He's been married three times, and his last wife did the sensible thing and ran away.
I've gotten her to finally eject him from her life, but he continues, its incessant, non stop.. All he wants to do is win. The only way she has managed to get this far, is to STOP CONTACT with him. They look for chinks in your make up to prise you open. They pretend to listen to what you say, but its all a ploy to get you to the subject matter they want to discuss.
She keeps telling me that she can't be cruel to him and has to listen and/or talk to him. I keep reminding her that its all lies, and he'll say anything to win her back.
If you want to get away, you've got to get tough, very tough.
1. Be indifferent to them and their 'supposed' circumstances, make them believe you don't care anymore.
2. Do not react. They want you to be emotional, so they can prise you open for more manipulation. Be as dead pan as you can.
3. Be unpredictable, strange, do not conform to any of the patterns they like. This really puts them off.
4. If you do have to communicate with them, limit it to emails and text. If you do speak to them, and they start their pity plays, tell them you're not doing it and hang up.
Good luck and best wishes to all.
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