tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post949262225975902153..comments2023-04-18T02:46:03.674-07:00Comments on Sociopath Article Comments: Comments on "Common Everyday Sociopaths"Adam Li Khanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826164866745323543noreply@blogger.comBlogger2336125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-3629313349569575922018-05-25T07:50:54.268-07:002018-05-25T07:50:54.268-07:00I'm wondering if this blog is still active as ...I'm wondering if this blog is still active as the last date is 2015....I found Martha Stout's book at a book store by chance. The description, and prevalence, of Sociopathy seem to be answering a lot of questions for me regarding our son. We started noticing behaviors at age 3 that definitely not what we taught or lived in our family. By age 5, we were seeking psychoanalytical, educational, spiritual, medical, and over the last 8 years behavior therapy, residential treatment, nothing has provided answers nor help. We have had 5 different psychologists try to label, and the last 3 just stated there was nothing that they could do for our family. Reading the book, some of the comments in the blog, has given me insight and courage to admit what we are most likely dealing with, and how to go about living our lives with him. Refusing to be victims is our first key and knowing we can love him, but not fuel the mindset is the best way to love him, possibly teaching him that people are necessary if not appreciated in life, and how to be able to navigate society, is a totally different view point as a parent still rearing a child you see these tendencies in. Thank you for your insight.... SWVmomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-82646117558179050462018-04-26T05:17:25.261-07:002018-04-26T05:17:25.261-07:00I'm. Not going to reveal my real name but I wa...I'm. Not going to reveal my real name but I was wondering if I.could ask you in depth questions as I have been seeing a sociopath and I really like him and enjoy his.company but emotionally he has me breaking down all the time can u help me with some.pointers so I can.stay with him or is there.no hopehellonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-9467137958177700562017-12-25T03:27:45.112-08:002017-12-25T03:27:45.112-08:00In the Sociopath next door the author talks about ...In the Sociopath next door the author talks about countries and cultures that have lower incidence of sociopathy, is there any indication of the countries and cultures that have the highest incidence?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04193138192391800419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-88842948659231820342017-08-07T21:40:17.080-07:002017-08-07T21:40:17.080-07:00Could anyone point me in a direction of finding ou...Could anyone point me in a direction of finding out about how societies can foster sociopathic tendencies in people - ordinary citizens and leaders - or how other societies might discourage such tendencies? Like why Germans fell for Hitler, or Russians were tormented by Stalin? Any writings on how societies can defend themselves against sociopaths?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-6771868829978158342017-04-01T17:00:53.391-07:002017-04-01T17:00:53.391-07:00I feel grateful that I figured out my employee was...I feel grateful that I figured out my employee was a sociopath and ultimately won by not keeping her on out of the excuse of a "poor fit".<br /><br />I am a warm trusting person. I am dedicated to sharing power. Oh, this is candy to the sociopath who wants to knock you out of your job.<br /><br />Fortunately, she shows very odd behavior from the start -- no greetings, secretive behavior. That morphed into disprespectful behavior (eye rolling, withholding, disobedience disguised as forgetfulness). When I began to confront these behaviors, the behavior morphed into covert manipulation. <br /><br />All the while I was wondering what I was doing wrong as the supervisor and continually trying to adjust to make her happy. However, my intuition is good and I often had the hair standing up on the back of my neck and dread in the pit of the stomach.<br /><br />Finally, I conquered the situation by laying out a detailed program of meetings on trust, team playing, etc. The key was to get *her* to study up and lead the discussions and report back findings.<br /><br />By meeting three she was ready to quit. I gave her one more chance, out of a desire to truly work with a really smart, good worker, but she manipulated during that last chance.<br /><br />Ultimately we chose not to renew her appointment. I thank God that we use limited appointments to try on people before hiring them.<br /><br />I don't think she is used to losing as she is very, very smart. But I outwitted her with transparency, kindness and when I finally got my bearing back, professionalism. I also used her manipulations against her when I could, and a few times I could. Sociopaths don't like their manipulation to be outed, so you might not try that one. They like revenge and will seek it.<br /><br />I had enough respect of my supervisors and people around me that, while they didn't necessarily believe me on her manipulative nature, they allowed me deference to let her go since it clearly was not a good fit.<br /><br />Last I heard this person doesn't have a job, though I gave her a sincere lead to an almost sure-bet job with good pay and well suited for her. Her pride wouldn't let her follow up on it I suppose.<br /><br />You cannot imagine how better things are now that she is gone. I saw that also she was a negative influence on the other staff person. Now that she is gone my other employee is respectful, helpful and friendly.<br /><br />People will sometimes underestimate kind, self-reflective, cooperative people who are on the ropes in some way (I was and I think she tried to play me like a violin). But the power of truth, honesty, and character will win out if you don't let this person drag you into being insecure. You need to keep your own power about you. Be certain of your perceptions and don't let them make you feel inferior due to your mistakes.<br /><br />Sociopaths will exploit your kindness. If you apologize and own up to a mistake, they will smirk and belittle you about it.<br /><br />Best way to deal with these people is say very little, reveal very little, but be straightforward, open, and authoritative.<br /><br />They worship power and control and despise collaboration and weakness.<br /><br />From this experience I learned that I will not start an empoyee off with being friendly and sharing power -- rather I will be reserved, fair, and let them work to earn the trust and respect. <br /><br />FWIWAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-34685490840629749582017-03-28T12:12:35.864-07:002017-03-28T12:12:35.864-07:00YOU people will never understand the absence of co...YOU people will never understand the absence of conscience if you keep telling yourself they're suffering somehow. They feel FINE and see YOU as the suffering fools who think trust and love exist..."many tell themselves that they are just depressed or reduce themselves to a highly inebriated state to deal with it." They think they're smarter than everyone else. They don't have any uncomfortable feelings to self-medicate, so if you believe it when a real amydala retarded sociopath tells you they're "depressed" they really are laughing behind your back at how dumb you are. Omnipresent 123https://www.blogger.com/profile/17582948525965013963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-80900098793236549492017-01-31T05:31:58.765-08:002017-01-31T05:31:58.765-08:00For the comments on the sociopath Topic online, ...For the comments on the sociopath Topic online, (from "Brigitte" age 41.) I'm diagnosed bipolar, I suspect slightly schizophrenic, definitely on the sociopath spectrum. The purpose of getting an actual diagnosis is to aid in treatment- if not planning to treat it, it can cause more harm to wear that label (in your mind.) Those who feel they may be sociopaths, then choose to identify as such, can put themselves & others in undue danger. Be aware. Regarding my sociopathy: I have hormones to cause elevated blood pressure, sweating etc as a reaction to stress, I can feel anxiety... but my judgment of a situation as bad or good, sad or happy, love or hate is based on logic. I've analyzed how others respond, chosen to mimic what I respect and avoiding acting like those I don't respect. All deliberate when I was young; as I age, most stays the same, but I adjust as I learn. I love to learn, I'm very curious, I'm studying everything including people. I have intentionally chosen not to hurt people on purpose in general because the consequence is more limited freedom to learn, explore etc in the future. I account for consequences, they affect my choices. I have developed a strong sense of responsibility to do right by other people- to care for weaker people for example. It's intentional. Any asshole can kill people to try to prove he is an evil genius. I believe I can and should do better- something more advanced and complicated, something in-recognized, under-appreciated- just for the challenge, which is worthy of me: I use my "power" for good and not evil. Who is better qualified than me? I invite those people to challenge themselves to work for good and not evil also. Unfortunately, "good" can seem arbitrary, but I have studied and learned a lot. All cultures agree and aim to live by some version of the "golden rule": Do unto others as you'd have done unto you. So I accept that as the baseline test of what is good. I've studied religions, faiths, etc. I do believe it is possible to know more about "God"- to understand the common feelings of love that allow humans to care about each other. I've learned a lot. I can mindfully listen, and I feel that the path, the Tao, is self-evident when you allow yourself to hear. I think of this as the Holy Spirit. You don't need a conscience to find God, He is everywhere, and you'll know when you are prepared to listen with a desire to know and understand. Any question you are prepared to ask has an answer that has truth, you might not like it or be prepared for the answer. If you aren't prepared to ask a question, you aren't prepared for the answer and can't be taught. Just logic and philosophy here FYI, it's nothing fancy- but I do think a lot and I need to know certain things, there's no choice. I refuse to waste my efforts & talents, I am better than that. On meds for decades now, I used to have voices that never stopped, I couldn't concentrate, I didn't want to live like that, could not live like that. My formerly excellent memory is Swiss cheese now and my enjoyment of life is blunted; so much of my desire to be everywhere always is gone, I feel numb. But really, it allows me to act normal. What an insult to normal people... or an insight into how high and low I was, normal people can't imagine. I killed a rabid raccoon with a baseball bat. Killing is difficult, physically... but I have no arbitrary moral problem with it. I prefer not to waste life, it's a logical decision. I breastfed my 3 kids. Nursing provides a flood of oxytocin which allows mother and child to bond strongly. I felt it. There is a sense of responsibility in me to protect my own self- and I made them, their bones formed inside me, they are mine. I have developed and prioritized a commitment of loyalty to my children. But oxytocin is just a chemical. Brigittehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15906773357316877027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-17063482457973336162016-12-12T10:36:42.573-08:002016-12-12T10:36:42.573-08:00This is one of the first articles my therapist eve...This is one of the first articles my therapist ever gave me about sociopaths, and it was extremely helpful. <br /><br />I met a sociopath at a vulnerable point in my marriage, and he swooped in to try to woo me away with him (for my money, my status, sex, to show he could win, etc.). He presented himself as a deeply romantic poet, artist, and humanitarian. He was great fun, totally carefree. He convinced me that our spouses weren't treating us well and that we deserved happiness. He made me feel like we were an amazing fit, meant to be. I'm an empath and codependent. He had a sad, sad back story that included poverty and abuse. I was hooked for the greater part of a year.<br /><br />Eventually, our affair was revealed and destroyed everyone around us. He took a dark turn and started pushing me harder to run away with him. He attempted to triangulate me with his wife when they reconciled and told me he left his marriage and family for me when reconciation failed (not true; his wife filed for divorce from him). He even showed up in my neighborhood one night to intercept me on my way home from work and get me to run off with him. When I didn't, he acted shocked and devastated that I could be so callous. He had no empathy at all for me or for the fact that my children were struggling immensely with terrible gossip in our community and tension at home. He became insanely jealous of the fact that I was still living at home, and he hated my husband (who is obviously a person with a lot of grace).<br /><br />I became suicidal, and he encouraged it. He was almost gleeful when I was miserable. I didn't know what was "wrong" with him, but I had an epiphany one day that he was deliberately hurting and manipulating me, so I cut off all contact. <br /><br />He proceeded to call, message, and even show up places I went. He acted like we were simply in a tiff or even that things were still normal between us. When that didn't work, he left tearful apologies that strained credulity. I never responded to any of it, even though it enrages me that someone violated my boundaries with entitlement.<br /><br />In hindsight, there were absolutely red flags. He lied, even for no reason. He stole small things. He took all of the credit and none of the blame for things that happened in his life. He took advantage of other people's kindness, not just mine. He had literally nothing positive to say about his wife even when they were still together (old supply). When she found out about our affair, his wife told me he had previously been violent with her, and she wanted to know how much money he had gotten me to spend on him. His emotions appeared to be all over the place and didn't always fit the situation appropriately. I sometimes felt he was studying my face. He would tell me he had dark thoughts.<br /><br />Aside from dealing with shame and remorse over having had an affair, I feel stupid for being duped into falling in love with a fictitious person. I am working on my own integrity, but I'm also struggling with how to continue living as a generous and compassionate person without being a sociopath target again (non-romantically). I am a tad jaded but wide awake.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-57905187685021762972016-12-12T02:19:18.257-08:002016-12-12T02:19:18.257-08:00(Jude)
Wow, being a sociopath myself i never expe...(Jude)<br /><br />Wow, being a sociopath myself i never expected a webpage dedicated for sociopath's victim. As a sociopath, i would call myself highly functioning because i blend in well with neurotypicals(i have to look stupid and fake empathy ughhh), have above average IQ, logical and practical, can read people like sherlock holmes, and have excellent social skills. I have never gotten into trouble with the law although being self interested. I love understanding human behaviour and how i can use it to my practical advantage. Anyways i been through hell when i was younger for me to get this self actualized at a young age(twenties). <br /><br />I had just recently discovered the word"sociopathy"(thanks to my hunger for knowledge although i usually hyperfocus on stuff related to finance/money/wealth as they are more practical). I knew i was different all along and it was an AHA moment when i discovered sociopaths and sociopathy. Anyway since i am here thought i would value add by giving some insights to both neurotypicals and sociopaths.<br /><br />To neurotypicals:<br />I have read lots of whining, hating, etc from you guys towards sociopaths you proclaim, let me tell you something scarier, narcissists are the real people you should be wary off not sociopaths for the main reason they never want to really discard you yes you go through the cycle value,devalue,discard with a narcissist but ultimately he/she would want to keep you there to feed him of his needs. So logically and morally i feel sociopaths though lack morals discard people after they meet their objectives unlike narcissist who cause much more damage(i have seen what narcisisst's victims been through and its hell). Now back to the topic of sociopaths, if you have been discarded(which justifies why are you here in the first place), just take it as you trusting the wrong person(i would assume you have been cheated in a relationship because if you have been cheated in business its just your incompentency, and if you family member is a sociopath blame his/her dad or mom for the environment he/she was brought up in and the genes in them as sociopaths are half nature and half nurture ). Now move on and learn to be more discerning of people and their motives, always look at their actions and its consistency and match it to what they say and portray themselves to be/image(sorry fellow sociopaths you gotta up your game;) haha). Now another thing to note if you are ever attracted to a sociopath if he/she was unmasked, you probably do have a problem as well maybe you are borderline, narcississt, daddy girls, etc basically like attract like so if a lowly functioning sociopath who choose to meet a lady with his mask off because he doesnt know he is a sociopath he would attract another genuine person who is also damaged in a certain way. Now if you got played by a masked sociopath(highly functioning one) then thats really too bad because you cant really see that coming but you know what? why should we judge sociopaths as they are the outliers who know how to play the mating game? We have normal(neurotypical) males and females cheating on each other its just that sociopathic males/females just do it better thus more damage before the discard and that is because they been through shit when they was younger and no one could feel the pain as much as they do thus the honing of their abilities to such a standard. Life is karma, we have stupid but selfish normal people pushing a normal person and when it goes to far the normal person loses his/her ability to feel(imagine this pain during formative years when most of your peers have circumstances with caring people around them), and thus a sociopath is born. Moral of the story here is all humans are selfish.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-70158213280075578642016-11-23T03:32:28.741-08:002016-11-23T03:32:28.741-08:00Seriously, who cares whether they are a sociopath ...Seriously, who cares whether they are a sociopath or not! What you know is that they are not a very nice person so keep them out of your life. Everyone has a choice to choose to hate or to love. No excuses no matter what you are. Personally, I do not think that Eric is a sociopath because he has feelings. He has a sensitivity within him or maybe his conscience is not completely dead yet ... He definitely loves been the center of attention here in this forum! We are all selfish beings it just depends what opportunity is given us to push us to how much we will act out selfishly. How do you think Hitler got normal people to do his murdering for him He promised them power etc... I believe the only Person that can keep you from selfish actions is having a personal relationship with Christ. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-70313079776064883702016-11-20T19:18:54.473-08:002016-11-20T19:18:54.473-08:00Why are sociopaths roaming our earth? What is the ...Why are sociopaths roaming our earth? What is the point of their existence? Is this some kind of mental retardation? Are they demons? I'm reading all these comments and seeing patterns, some are identical to what my sons and I went thru, how can this be? The lies , degradations, addictions to porn , alcohol, cheating, do they not know they are hurting others? What will God do with them when they die, they have zero remorse? My ex just about mentally destroyed me , but I caught on thankfully, I took Prozac for a year because of him convincing me I was borderline? . My sons are in college and have nothing to do with him any longer, our lives are so peaceful, my night terrors have stopped. I will never get closure , nor answers, you are left saying what in the hell just happened? I feel like our lives were touched with pure evil and I shudder~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-22676216337362871642016-09-20T23:30:32.771-07:002016-09-20T23:30:32.771-07:00i HAVE a niece, badly and cruelly reared by her na...i HAVE a niece, badly and cruelly reared by her narcissistic mother, who is tormenting me. She confabulates absurd stories, and posts them to Facebook, using my name, and slandering me. She came to our house and vandalized our landscape and cars, and we got a restraining order. Nevertheless, she made up a story about my getting a life insurance policy on her son who lives with another aunt, and claimed I meant to murder him. Her own mother committed suicide after she saw the awful results of her child-rearing, years ago. Two nights ago, she came to our house with a hammer, and broke out the glass on my expensive porch light, and the tail light on one of our cars--regardless of the restraining order. The police caught her and put her in jail. She had been living in a tent with the few belongings she still possessed (She had a quarter-million dollars in inheritance which she blew through quickly, but which left her destitute.) She claims she is a "victim" and wants me to "help" her. She has a GoFundMe page which has netted little. She is an absolute terror, and I have no idea what to do about her.myahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17063022241016550137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-43112169685042365912016-08-22T15:11:43.217-07:002016-08-22T15:11:43.217-07:00The Sociopath Trap
I don't think normal minds...The Sociopath Trap<br /><br />I don't think normal minds can accept that sociopaths live among us. I think the average mind's denial system actually creates a cloak that hides them more effectively. I tried to share it with one friend once, so it's statistically valueless, but I'm satisfied it is the latter.<br /><br />I shared it with John because he is dealing with a woman who definitely seems to fit the mould of a hater, but a sneaky one. So I suggested he read Martha Stout's books on sociopathy. Then I outlined one incidence from my experience to see if the subtlety would dawn on him.<br /><br />My ex hated her mother, Carol. No bones about it, she ensured that that Carol, who was in her mid 70's when my first child was born, was always crying when I drove her home. Adding injury to insult, Carol had been a POW in WWII and had endured psychological abuse before. Our acreage was remote enough that Carol was trapped when she visited, but come she did because that's what grandmothers do, even if the location and disdain brought back evil days for her.<br /><br />On my 29th birthday, I come home from work to a nice dinner. I'm the only earner in the house but we are making good headway on reducing debt, things seem predictably under control. After dinner, a truck shows up with a gift for me. A brand new Honda ride on mower from my ex...but paid for by Carol who just can't afford a $4200 outlay.<br /><br />In my mind this is wrong on so many levels. You can't openly hate someone and still demand they financially support a whim, that's just more abuse. And how can you give something you don't pay for? And, I wasn't the one who spent all their time playing with flowers, so why is a tool supporting her hobby a gift for me?....... On and on my mind spins. So I quietly take the ex aside and tell her it's gotta go back. It doesn't, but I pay Carol the majority back over the next 14 months and thought that was the end of it. Think again.<br /><br />The ex has a telltale sign. Her eyes dart downwards and far to the left when she is about to disclose a secret that she is excited to tell. On my 30th birthday I return from work after a long day to have her come out of the house to greet me, something that never happened. All the way across the lawn she was glancing down and far to the left and, stupid me, I thought something nice might be planned. My daughter was 4 and just old enough to really enjoy a birthday celebration. What was the exciting disclosure that she so enjoyed telling? "Since you hated your birthday so much last time, we're not celebrating it this year."<br /><br />And really stupid me, just like John's response when I told him this story, I thought it was not the reason to take my child and leave her. We are normal humans, we find reasons to forgive. We find ways to diminish the offence. We are really slow to fully comprehend this abnormality. How I wish I had seen how deeply disturbed the behaviour was right then, instead of letting her claim depression as the underlying issue.<br /><br />This incident is far from the worst. But it has all the elements of this type of mind, the subtlety, the long term grudge, the weird rationalizations. I'm writing it here for those who already understand, but I'll never openly tell someone who hasn't come to grips with it and seen it in action. Not again. That's their trap.Anonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18151304478474199329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-11787676640740502282016-08-19T14:15:41.084-07:002016-08-19T14:15:41.084-07:00I strongly believe that that my 24 year old daught...I strongly believe that that my 24 year old daughter is a sociopath. At this point, there is one child by one father and she is pregnant by 2nd with another man. She has used all of us in the family until we're finished. <br />Something that doesn't add up is that she seems to actually have compassion and love for her son, who is 4. Is that possible? She is affectionate with him and has taught him much. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-1699113769789482252016-08-10T17:19:45.805-07:002016-08-10T17:19:45.805-07:00No one knows they are being deceived when it is ha...No one knows they are being deceived when it is happening. Likewise, one would not know when they marry a sociopath and allow them to adopt their child. Even when the abuse starts, it is subtle. Only when it becomes so blatant, do you realize how trapped you are. Then, if you get the courage to leave and divorce them, watch out. Add to that a corrupt court system, attorneys who play God and don't care, a guardian ad litem who doesn't do their job (maybe they were sucked in also), police officers who don't enforce a protective order and even lie on the stand, and a family (yes, your own family) who won't listen to you or believe anything you say. It is NEVER over with a sociopath. There is no life after a sociopath - especially when you have lost everything to fight for your child, the attorneys that you paid did not do anything to clear your name on the record, the first guardian ad litem withdrew and the second guardian ad litem lied, broke confidence and your case became the subject of a joke at a holiday party - you can scream and make as much noise as you want to, write a solid and logical letter with supporting documentation to every non-profit who professes to help, government official, author, newspaper...you just keep proving the case that you are "crazy" - a case that the sociopath beautifully orchestrated while the sociopath appears "benign" to everyone else and even your own family responds with "no one cares" or "let it go, everyone is sick of hearing it." Everyone else goes on with life as usual and the victim generally has lost their name, their home, their family and in most cases - their child. Make no mistake about it, sociopaths are as close to evil incarnate as one can come and they will continue to get away with ruining peoples lives until someone starts to care, until people who know the truth open their mouths when asked, until they are held accountable along with the attorneys (both for the sociopath and for the other party), the guardian ad litem(s) who so miserably fail the children they are supposed to be protecting, the families who refuse to believe that they had been "read" all along and played by the sociopath, and everyone else who buries their head in the sand stop telling the victims they are crazy or to let it go and actually listen and do something while there is still time. I am not the first victim of this particular sociopath - there were several before (one of which is now dead) and at least one after. The cycle will continue, more lives will be destroyed and NOBODY will do anything to stop it! Piece of advice - if you think you have come across a sociopath - turn and run the opposite direction as fast as you can and do not have ANY contact whatsoever!!!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-48451766120148197612016-05-06T22:37:43.018-07:002016-05-06T22:37:43.018-07:00I am not a sociopath, but in my life I have dealt ...I am not a sociopath, but in my life I have dealt with many of them, in the workplace, in the family, and female sociopaths I unknowingly fell in love with. Stories too long to tell here.<br />Ive never doubted my twin sister is a sociopath, with all the traits.<br />Since we were young, we both knew that I was more the favourite twin of the family, and I have no doubt this favouritism went back to when we were babies.<br />Kids, and even babies aren't totally dumb. They can see & know when another kid or baby is getting more of the loving attention they want.<br />My sister began showing behavioural problems at toddler stage, running away from home on her tricycle.<br />By teenage hood, she went out of her way to be the daughter from hell for mother, and succeeded.<br />As an adult, she tried to win mother back onside, at my expense, through manipulation & covert bullying.<br />Adding all this to my years of experience dealing with other sociopaths & delving into their childhood backgrounds, Ive come to the belief that sociopaths are simply people who have been damaged during childhood, rather than being born that way.<br />Apart from superior intelligence, humans are born with another trait, that separates us from most other species..a perception of"fairness". Even babies have it.<br />As kids, we expect our parents & mentors to be fountains of wisdom & knowledge. We trust them to always be fair & to set a good example.<br />But kids aren't dumb. They can tell the difference between being deservedly punished, and being bullied or mistreated for no reason.<br />You can imagine the long term shock for a young child to find out that their own parent, their idol, their supreme mentor, is flawed with a childish desire to be cruel for no reason.<br />Over time, it would shatter their trust & respect of mentors of any kind.<br />I believe this is where the sociopath is truly born.<br />From there on, they prefer to take on the role of mentor for themselves, socially becoming self taught, with their own rules & parameters which allow for anything.<br />They grow up believing that "fairness" is only for the weak & stupid.<br />They grow up with the desire to inflict upon others, the kind of trauma they feel they have been through.<br />They learn from a young age, that lying works. That its easy, so easy in fact, that all other people must be stupid compared to them.<br />This belief that they are more clever than anyone else, gives them their boundless self confidence.<br />They find lying so useful, they learn to cultivate it into a fine art as they grow up. You might find them watching shows like days of our lives, or similar, where they can learn to mimic emotional reactions of all kinds, in relationship situations.<br />They've learnt to switch themselves off from emotions, because emotions are painful & cause weakness.<br />Their trust in others shattered since childhood, they trust no one, and place their trust only in other peoples weaknesses, hence their desire to dominate & control.<br />Yet, total control never turns out to be enough for them. They need more. They still feel the subconscious feelings of worthlessness & misery of their childhood trauma. They feel the constant need to compensate for this by elevating their own self importance & spreading this misery & trauma to others who they deem as worthless & deserving.<br />Ruining other peoples days, or lives, helps to brighten up their own life. They see it as "justice".<br />Forgiveness is another foreign concept to them. They simply don't understand it.<br />Payback with a vengeance is the only answer they know, for a percieved wrongdoing.<br /><br />A sociopath is like an evil, twisted, vindictive child, inside an adults body. Add to that mix all the devious things this adult child has learnt over its growing years of being self mentored. <br /><br />Jonny.Dnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-50641770959728731662016-04-08T13:15:21.578-07:002016-04-08T13:15:21.578-07:00My older sister is, I believe, a sociopath. We are...My older sister is, I believe, a sociopath. We are ten years apart, but in all the years I remember she has never made me feel good, or helped me, just made me feel bad. Now in her 70s she wants my attention, positive or negative, as long as it's attention. She forgets how she ignored me when I needed someone most, I have never seen her cry! Only pretended boo hoo stuff, when with me when we picked up Mum's ashes. I, along with other family members, who have spent countless hours/days/months/years trying to help her, have had to distance her for our own sanity. I remember when I was a child, watching fascinated, as she practiced her 'look' in the kitchen mirror, happy/sad, little did I know how and why it would come back to me later. She sends me mail now, telling me how horrid I am, and then phone messages asking for contact, left in a friendly voice.<br /><br />All true, as of today, but please forgive writing, I'm tired and angry! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-46075479876215581182016-03-12T17:01:46.060-08:002016-03-12T17:01:46.060-08:00Eric after reading some of your replys I have a id...Eric after reading some of your replys I have a idea that you truly may be a sociopath to the degree that your responses are purposefully misleading and false representation of a sociopath therefore poisoning the minds of these people since the fact that helping others without gain is against the believed characterist behaviour of a sociopath what you gain here is to appear superior and control their minds with misinformation with that being noted..<br /> <br />I have lived with a sociopath for ten years married had children with and recently divorced still being caused harassment by this man which isn't by choice believe me. So how do i put simply "his main drive of terrorism towards me is because i know him inside and out too well" i know his thoughts his actions what he's capable of and history of behaviour actions and that puts him at risk and dampers his ability to manipulate me and others by exploiting his ways i am making him weak that in my opinion of a sociopath correct me if im astray they truly dont want others to know how they think which can lead to the lessening of power they seek<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-35066907219888881762016-02-07T07:20:40.283-08:002016-02-07T07:20:40.283-08:00Adam, I want to tell you that I’ve read your artic...Adam, I want to tell you that I’ve read your article at least 2 dozen times since I first ran across it while following you via your email subscription. It has helped me immensely eliminate a beau from my life, and, years later, finally, following the footsteps of my step-sister before me, ending my relationship with my father. When I first read it, I ran out and bought “The Sociopath Next Door” which explained exactly what I’d been going through with the beau, who did not “play fair” with me, but along the way, I realized my father, whom I was not raised by and had always thought of as a “narcissist” was likely somewhere on the continuum of sociopathy also. That was quite a few years ago, and since then I’ve observed my father’s interactions with others, as well as myself, from a place of knowledge, and, quite frankly, curiosity, rather than from a place in my heart. I felt sorry for him for a long time - after all, he didn’t choose this. I recalled him telling me once that “there’s no such thing as empathy...” And, finally, the scales tipped against him, he did one thing too many, and I was, at long last, able to walk away from my relationship with him, and my longing throughout my life to be loved by him. <br /><br />Thank you Adam. Thank you so very much for addressing this very difficult issue, and opening so many people’s eyes to what they are struggling with. A big virtual hug to you!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11939037650602481041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-54023128513498115602015-12-31T11:00:02.162-08:002015-12-31T11:00:02.162-08:00Good, clear article. Sociopaths are born with a br...Good, clear article. Sociopaths are born with a brain that malfunctions - they have no feelings of like, love, care, concern or compassion. They target empathetic, loyal, strong, kind people who invest in relationships as their targets to scam - to defraud, to use to prop up and propel their false lives forward. Anyone can be scammed. Sociopaths are masters with no guilt, remorse, concern, care or the slightest regret at ruining someone's life. They do it on a regular basis with many victims at one time always rotating in fresh crop and the used-up people out. ---Sociopaths are not Narcissists - Sociopaths are narcissistic as in self focused, but a Narcissist is a picnic in the park compared to a Sociopath.Jennifer Smithhttp://www.truelovescam.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-27057584407411301902015-12-22T20:15:05.001-08:002015-12-22T20:15:05.001-08:00I've fairly new to the term sociopath .I was w...I've fairly new to the term sociopath .I was with my ex wife for 10 years off and 5 years off and on .we have 2 children together that are 11 and 12 . I won't make this too long but my ex wife has abandon the kids 3 times now I will always listen to her side and believe whatever lies told me and take her back she would say she said was stressed she needed to get away whetever cheat on me whatever she did she did and she would always make me out to be the cause of her to do it because you wouldn't listen so I found someone that would listen I forgive her and work on it and look past it love you let's make this work I love having a family with you I do anything for it work would it would work for a little bit and she would flip out for the littlest things and then turn around and blame them on me . We separated and got joint custody she have the kids you're on the school days I had him on the weekends the relationship she was in at the time was working for an ass constantly going out there to save her so the start of the school year 2015 we move back in together and they started not listen to start acting out in school there 11 and 12 though in a new school it's going to be expected shes goes well they never act like this when they were with me so she couldn't hold a job kids weren't listening to her kids are doing bad in school I told her I think I could do a better job and she goes you think he can do a better job go ahead and I came home one day and she is gone I figured she'd be back eventually she hasn't been back since November 5th today is December 22nd or Kids has not seen her since I talked to her on the phone and that is it she hasn't helped us out financially with anything which is breaking the family because we're going to move in and she switched help with bills and everything and now its all on me for everything she lied about coming home for Christmas she told us she was in therapy getting self help for herself and she had to go to the hospital getting appendix removed well I called your phone I checked your voicemail and she said she was in the hospital where I was away she was in hospital in Kansas City and after she got out of the hospital she said she is going back to therapy which was a lie I called her out on it and she's living out in the town with one person she knows and I don't know but if she doesn't she wants to see the kids but I can't trust her now to see the kids and not run off with them my oldest son doesn't want to talk to her anymore and my youngest still want something to do with her in the whole time I was trying to Baker to come back up until she said she's not going to come for Christmas because I was out Christmas shopping with the kids at the house by themselves but still I love this girl from the past 15 years I don't want to take her parental rights away but she has a band of the kids 3 times now in her life and I need help child support I got the night food stamps I make too much and that's going to piss her off but she said she's not going to go to court so I don't know what can happen if he doesn't show up I can even filed the case yet I just need to know how to deal with her I mean is just come back and make my life chaos and living it that be fine I don't want to take the kids from her I feel bad I just don't know how to deal with kind of person she doesn't want to listen to she doesn't see the point of view of anything I don't understand how you would not want to miss your kids growing up the sad part is you not even on drugs I don't know what to do so I'm asking for suggestions and comments I hope this is the right one to leave in the right comments section thanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-35455329247394933452015-11-05T12:13:53.735-08:002015-11-05T12:13:53.735-08:00Sociopaths don't necessarily LIKE to hurt peop...Sociopaths don't necessarily LIKE to hurt people. They simply lack empathy, so it doesn't bother them when they hurt people.Adam Li Khanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16826164866745323543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-17246239875483425512015-11-05T08:45:50.495-08:002015-11-05T08:45:50.495-08:00I may have posted already, am unsure if doing this...I may have posted already, am unsure if doing this correctly. I think my son may be a sociopath, but the difference between him and what i read here is that people getting hurt are just "fallout" from him using us, stealing from us, lying to us and not feeling remorse, but i dont think he enjoys hurting people on purpose or seeks to hurt anyone. I think it is just a byproduct of him taking what he wants and using people. Is there a difference?hurtingmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07460353197063612247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-79715263012644049602015-11-05T08:36:03.702-08:002015-11-05T08:36:03.702-08:00This is an old blog so not sure anyone will read t...This is an old blog so not sure anyone will read this, but have a question. the one possible difference I see in most of the sociopaths on this blog and my adult son is that i do not think my son "enjoys" or sets out to hurt anyone on purpose. I feel his main goal is just getting what he wants without having to contribute anything, and people end up getting hurt, but it is not his goal. He wont hurt someone just on purpose or just for the fun of it, but he knows it will hurt us when he steals from us and does it anyway because he wants the money. Is there a difference?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6973718739752204780.post-77311269668152023912015-10-20T14:42:59.405-07:002015-10-20T14:42:59.405-07:00Wow ur post 7 yrs ago..
I take it by now u have ur...Wow ur post 7 yrs ago..<br />I take it by now u have ur answers to ur questions...<br />u ask how they have friends and not loving relationships.... theres no friends either.<br />we as the normal (excuse that term) we respect feel towards ppl...<br />sociopaths.. dont feel its all about control & what the person caters to their needs..<br />friend family even married... they dont take it easier cause thats the family or the misses... its all equal to them... if someone hss something they want or for their needs.. well thats the one whos their nxt prey..<br />theres no set time on ppl... because its when we dont cater to the needs n wants.. or they get bored of the chase of power they dont acknowledge u nor need u & with a lover side of it... its brutal.. u think ur loved special everything u neva felt.. thenome not all have already got their nxt victim lined up and gone no explanation. Answers no reply.. for the lover... its the emotional roller coaster from hell 10x 0va n thats nothin.. the damage mentally leaves a trail of destruction. . They wont txt call while ur there thinking y??<br />How come no compassion remorse absolute empyness from their side. Ur nothing not even a sorry. They already acting the role of character for the nxt person UNTIL..<br />u show ur weekness then they will prey on u again.. only for their self benefits..<br />they will b what they have to be n do what they have to... as they have not one bit of emotion their like a robotic empty shell.. n they programme what n who they need to do n be.. only for their self benefits. .<br />they dont feel pleasure so u asking if they proud or anything.. no its a power n control n analizing once they have that, thats when the real them come out. As theres no need to have to work hard. So off comes the mask.. bring on the manipulation, lies deceit. Their anger outbursts if u dare question their motives or lies anything for that matter.... theirs no compassion warmth love their cold dark n empty...<br />it sounds harsh coming from ppl with feelings.... u said u think u would stay away from a sociopath if u knew 1... well all I can say to u is..... if u have anything that a sociopath thinks they can benefit from.. I guarantee u wouldn't even know that their already workin u...im a very head strong person n mentally too n always on the ball of everyday bullshit etc...<br />I saw signs with my ex.. but not knowing about sociopaths.. all the other mental illness yes. at the end of the day...<br />He achieved what he needed... n left me not trusting a single sole my walls are reinforced never to let my guard dwn.. while we recover from the destruction of all their doing... and its alll for them.. and nothing more...they basically take what they want..<br />and its theirs... doesnt matter about dignity morals nothin.... it is them n only them.. and the ppl who cater for their needs...<br />Now a sociopath reading this... will agree to alot of this... n fire up on other parts... as I have put what me as a victims opinion..<br />sociopaths its just their way.. they are always right. Its not about them and their ego ... control of all matters....<br />The actual purpose of life in itself is hell..<br />not because im negative person... im a realist... u have sociopaths... n then us..<br />empty emotionless ppl.. that we feel sorry for as they have never experienced affection, love.. nothing... n its not their fault. . N nothing can help them <br />Lifes a bitch... n u dont come out alivekris Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13612292076669683900noreply@blogger.com